Some days

Falling, clearly out of mind, hallucinating demons and monster that would only bring me harm, brought only by the cure to the evil pain that drowns me day after day. God if you can hear me, because my voice is absent, there is a hole in my chest where my previous heart laid. Now I may see my friends, but since my mind has gone insane I clearly feel as we are in some other place, a place where my demons wont get me, because Im no longer fighting on my own, for I have an army protecting my back as I slay this things that just want to see me suffer. Suffer my dear life, suffer, for it must be right. Expanding this wings that only exist in my dreams, as Its the only thing that dulls this pain. If to run away was an option, but I can hardly breathe and to move would be impossible. I am tied to a bed with tubes down my throat, not sure if I am dead but I know I'm far from home. What in this life brought me here? It must had been my deeds on a previous life. For nothing I have done could deserve a punishment like this. If you could see me, I am not even a shadow of whom i used to be, completely broken, with so many stitches layered over and over the previous ones, leaving my body with uncountable amount of scars. If you could hear me, for I only lie when i'm asked how I feel, and only through this letters I confess what is real. A man who is willing to fight against the odds, even when they tell me most likely I will be gone. I do believe my strength is gone and so... I think about giving up every day, because I will never know what is to be normal. To have what people call health, to fall in love again since it would be a crime to drag someone else in to this hell.

What to say.

Polluted mind, must be just mine

Trying to escape or read between the Lines

That everybody suffers In their own way

Who am I to say that its any different

Dear God I can no longer hear you

Must be my fault for stumbling and not seeing you

For thinking that your not there while I suffer

When i beg you while drowning in my own tears

Please I'm loosing it, I can not take this pain

Or please, let me forget

I can only say I remember everything

My pain, my mother's and sister's pain

As they see me laying there

I know their praying

but do you listen?

I do not want to say you didn't

But this pain brought no cleansing

Only hallucinations, Of horrible things

And to this day, they still haunting me

Killing my dreams and the ability to sleep

God, my spirit was screaming for you

Since my voice was un existent

My chest open, I feel I'm broken

And my soul has escaped from me.

I hate to pretend but if I'm at my end

Could you give me real peace

For every one thinks that I feel better

When in reality I have never felt so afraid

So broken and without strength

I have no fight left in me

A cloud hovering with all my broken dreams

I'm not ready to quit

But I am weary

I wish I knew the right words

But at this time I don't know just what to say.